Duplicate Post

A’udhubillahi minash shaytaanir rajim Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahim Al Hamdulillahir Rabbiyl ‘aalamin was salaatu was salaamu ‘Ala Rasulullah
Seminar of a lifetime
Part 1 by Abu Maahiy ‘Aziz ibn Lonnie From Cleveland

Did this whole thing really happen? Starting from the beginning, I got an email about the Online Intensive Course program. I thought that it sounded like a good idea but because sometimes I have to work on the weekends I knew that I wouldn’t be able to commit to the program. So I did the next best thing, which was to forward the information to my two wonderful wives. One wife signed up and has stuck to the program tenaciously may Allah bless both of them. ‘Ala kulli haal, one day my wife showed me the email for the Umar bin al khattab seminar I looked over the list of scholars: Shaykh Abdul-Muhsin alAbbad wow!, Shaykh Rabi’ ibn Hadi al-Madkhali wow!, Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Aziz Aalish Shaykh wow! Shaykh 'Abdullaah Al-Ghudyaan wow! Shaykh Saalih Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan wow! I thought, “How could it get much better than this?” And the list just went on and on. I was so excited and at the same time trying to figure out how all of this was possible. But then I thought the price has to be astronomically high only to find out it was fairly low? Again I thought, “How could it get much better than this?” then I looked over the rest of the program to see three weeks in Makkah and Madinah plus Umrah. At this point I was over whelmed and I thought, “It can’t get much better than this.” But then the sad reality set in that we can not afford this now, we are trying to make hijrah, we are fixing the house, etc., etc. We saw the part saying if you could not afford it don’t worry something could be worked out but we didn’t want to go this route. So we put the idea to rest and buried in the back yard and went on with our lives.

Some time went by and I was telling my wife that I would like to travel the world and meet the people of knowledge in the different lands face to face. I wanted to hear their voices up close, I wanted to shake their hands I wanted to take from their manners and tell everybody about the experience. It was at this point that my wife said you know we have some money coming in and you know that seminar is coming up. SubhaanAllah now our idea had life again and it had sprung wings and was flying over our heads beckoning us to move forward. Wife suggested that I take my oldest son whose nine years old. So I got on the phone to call and see was it ok to bring him. Noble brother Zahid answered and after exchanging greetings I posed my query. He asked when had I heard about the program and why didn’t I call then? I told him about the money. I remember him clearly saying, “Akhi the registration has been over a long time ago.” My heart dropped to the floor our idea no longer had wings and fell on the floor with it. He began to ask me questions about Islam and my family and the community. I was thinking I just want to get off of the phone now because we can’t go but I didn’t want to be rude. Then he said why don’t you bring one wife and your son. My heart leapt to its feet and our idea was up too and hugging it. He said we will do what we can as of right now you are on stand by, send your registration and what ever money you have and we will go from there. SubhaanAllah we were back in business. Even though we didn’t have a confirmation a snowball beats no ball.

But wait, now there’s a problem! And it is not a small one. There is only space for one wife and I have two. What so ever shall I do?!?!? How do I break the news?!?!? Is this going to case some problems?!?!? I know one thing is for sure I’m not saying anything to either one of them about it until I collect all of my thoughts in one place. I kept thinking we pretty much have the money for me, it will be hard to come up with the money for my son, now one wife is included and I have to try to bring both or both have to stay behind. I went to sleep after telling them I would talk to them about the call later.

The next day I sprung it on them and ducked to prepare for the result of the stuff hitting the fan. But it didn’t hit the fan or anybody or anything else. The wife who reminded me of the money coming, said she would stay home for the children. She didn’t want something to happen to all three of us resulting in the kids being scattered all over the place. I asked her over and over was she sure and every time she reassured me that she was. Behind closed doors I saw what really was going on. She confided in me that she wouldn’t feel right going in place of the other wife. She felt as if she would be committing an act of injustice if she deprived someone who would make more out of it than she would. I was speechless. This was one of the most beautiful displays of humility and selflessness that I have ever seen. May Allah bless her, forgive her, have mercy upon her and grant her Jannatul Firdaws after preventing her from the punishment of the grave and making her of those who cross the bridge of sirat with lightning speed, Amin.

Now the race is on it is the end of June we have $1,300 for me and we need $600 more, we need $2,000 for my wife and another $2,000 for my son. Now we are making du’aa, cutting our spending, selling clothes at the flea market, selling dinners in the front yard, collecting all of the change we can find around the house and in the vehicles. We were at the mercy of the Most Merciful. We were being swept from one state to another trying to seek the provision of our lord so we could make a journey to get closer to our Lord. We were completely emerged in the Qadr of Allah; helpless within ourselves and accomplishing nothing without Allah’s aid. Mashaa’Allah by the permission of Allah we accomplish a great feat because we are a family of sixteen with meager means and Allah granted us the tawfiq to pull this off. One weekend we made $500 selling dinners only to have our brakes go out and have to pay $400 to get them fixed on Monday. On the down side Mashaa’Allah we are almost back to square one but on the bright side at least we had the money to fix the vehicle. After this we got the email about $150 more per person for Madinah. I was also informed that we would have to pay $1,000 to bring my son because we would need private rooms for the whole trip. This is a real reminder that we are truly slaves to Allah and totally encompassed by His will no matter what are will is. Also it is moments like these that give you those against the odds hopes because after all we worship Allah, and Allah has aided His servants in times harder than these and more detrimental situations. Throughout the next two months we scraped and scrambled and planned and plotted. Time was racing by and we raced to keep up with it. Brother Zahid was putting pressure on us to come through but we were doing all that we could. My wife’s parents gave her $700, and my mother loaned her $1,500, may Allah guide them to Islaam, amin. We kept selling the dinners and we still had some money coming in from previous business. Believe it or not we found over $300 worth of change around the house.

Mashaa’Allah I really wanted to bring my son. He is nine years old and loves being Muslim, he is well mannered, intelligent and loves to learn about his religion. When I asked him if he wanted to go a smile alighted across his face and his eyes lit up even brighter. He was eager to see Masjid An Nabawi, eager to see the Ka’abah and make ‘Umrah, he was eager to see one of our friends who is a student in Madinah and even more eager to meet the ‘Ulamah. May Allah make all of our children of those who have these opportunities often, Amin. About a month prior to the starting date of this seminar, I heard of a seminar similar to this one that Masjid Rahmah is having especially for the children. The reality was setting in that it would be too much to bring my son so I talked to him and we decided to take him and his brother to that one instead. May Allah grant us the Tawfiq in that endeavor, Amin.

Time was counting down fast. I remember getting the email saying all tickets and visas had been processed and mailed out, except for five people who still owed money. I knew we were amongst those because we owed about $96 that we had actually sent the day before. This was about one week prior to the scheduled day of departure. This is How close we came to not making it. Al Hamdulillah on a bright, sunny day, with the temperature just right and the grass and trees glowing with green, the mail man walked up as we were loading the car to go to salaatul Jumu’ah. The mailman is never here at this time. But this time he was here and he was delivering our pass ports, visas and tickets. This was a joyous occasion for all. We were relieved and excited and the Muslims, who had been praying and supporting our dinner sales, were also excited because we were on our way to the best seminar of our lives.

Part 2 Spiritual and Mental Preparation

What was about to happen to me and why do I deserve it? How was I going to be affected by this experience? How was this experience going to affect my family? Will I be able to keep up or will my mind be distracted by the brilliance of the two Holy cities? Even though this would be my fourth trip to this blessed place I knew this time would be different. Something huge was happening, something whose scope and magnitude I could not fully comprehend? Are my heart and mind well enough to even fully appreciate it? Will I be grateful to my Lord for having an experience that most of the modern Muslim world never will? Who, what, when, where and why? Each of these questions had a myriad of unknown dynamics that would only be answered in time? Will this time even come? Will Allah give me life to live through it? All of these inquiries only made me long for my Lord more and long for this experience more because it is only Allah who knows all and afterwards those who He has given knowledge to disseminate it to solve the mysteries contained in the hearts.

We had taken the physical means and this was just the beginning and a small beginning at that. Even starting to memorize the required texts was the tip of the iceberg. The real preparation was the freeing of our minds from worldly concerns and purifying our hearts from all desires except the desire of seeing Allah’s Face. We had to seek Allah’s aid from the beginning to the end Because without Allah there is no movement , no might and no Success. When left to our own devices we only attain stagnancy, incompetence and humiliating failure. We had to make tawbah and then remain aloof from sins. Seeking safety with Allah from the accursed, outcast and rejected shaytaan. We had to tame the wilderness of our souls in order to prepare them to be cultivated. The souls’ soil had to have the right mineral content in order for the seeds of beneficial knowledge that were going to be planted to sprout the fruits of acceptable actions. Were our hearts the needed fertile land ……. or were they rocks that would support no life? Even with this experience behind us, the answer to this question still lies ahead obscured in the distance. Was our preparation feasible? We will only know when the hearts are thrown open and their deepest secrets are outspread for scrutiny by the one who is Al Latif Al Khabir (Most Aware of the finest subtlties.) May Ar Rahmaan who twists the hearts of the slaves between His two fingers make our hearts firm upon His religion, Amin.

Part 3 Departure from Doom and Arriving in Allah’s Sanctuary

Now let’s get to the good part. My wife and I spent the weekend packing, making last minute runs, preparing wills and spending time with the family. When Tuesday came we got up early and headed out for the airport. Our flight didn’t leave until about 2:30 but we were at the airport at 11:00 waiting anxiously. People were looking at us with mixed emotions but we didn’t care because we were on our way to Saudi Arabia. When we arrived at JFK airport I thought we would have to take the airport tram to our terminal but Al Hamdulillah it was right around the corner. The first thing we saw when we approached the Saudi Air terminal were Muslims offering salah. We offered the salah and waited to be checked in. About 12 hours later we were in the air on our way to Jeddah.

When we touch down in Jeddah we load the bus and head for Madinah. We drive through out the night until we enter the Holy city , Madinatul Munawwarah in the morning. It was as if we left the darkness of America under the cover of darkness and now we were emerging in the illuminated sacred city with the dawning of the new day. I love Madinah, the sound of it, the smell of it, the sight of it, the feel of it. I feel warm inside as if I’m being welcomed by a long lost, generous relative. I observe everything keenly. The palm trees are calling me to recline under them. The store fronts donning Arabic names seem to smile at me. The cars and trucks bobbing and weaving about each other desire to entertain me. The people, both locals and foreigners all seem like my family members coming together for the family reunion. I am more at home here than I am at home. May Allah make this my home, Amin. I am in love with this place.

Immediately, we notice the large scale destruction and reconstruction efforts. Everywhere something is being torn down and everywhere some thing is being built up. To me this is symbolic of the process of tasfiyyah and tarbiyyah we are about to undergo. Expelling many of the ways about us that are no longer suitable for our use and replacing them with ways that will, Inshaa’Allah carry us into Jannah.

As we got deeper into the city a minaret from Masjid An Nabawai shyly peeks at us through the buildings, then another and then another. We return the shy glances with stares and call them to come out plainly in all of their splendor. As we pull up to our hotel, there they are welcoming us. Now they are not alone. They are accompanied by spectacular domes and artfully crafted arches, brilliant brass fixtures and a marvelous display of marble. What can be better than this? Only to bow and prostrate in the ranks inside as we will do many times before leaving.

Inside, there are outstretched pillars in rows upon rows, scattered carpets, and esquisite lamps adorning the equally esquisite domed ceilings. The air is cool and calm and it is increased by the cooling and calming effects of the Zam Zam water provided for our convenience. The Qur’aan is present in the pages of the thousands of musaahif around the magnificent musallah. It is present in the hearts, on the tongues and on the limbs of the many worshippers gathered for Allah’s pleasure from all over the four corners of the earth. To be in the midst of this is overwhelming. This is a sign to me of the vast mercy of Allah because I have not worked sufficiently to obtain this and I am not worthy to be here. There are thousands of people more deserving to be here in my place but Allah is most merciful of all those who have shown mercy to me. I should cry for a life time for this one moment. May Allah count me amongst the grateful. Amin.

Sorry Umm Mujaab is my wife. I forgot that when I access the site a certain way it logs me in as her.

Oops! I tried to post the first post but since I wasn't registered it didn't post until after I registed and was sucessful posting it then. So I guess I'll just put the same information in both places.

Part 2 Spiritual and Mental Preparation

What was about to happen to me and why do I deserve it? How was I going to be affected by this experience? How was this experience going to affect my family? Will I be able to keep up or will my mind be distracted by the brilliance of the two Holy cities? Even though this would be my fourth trip to this blessed place I knew this time would be different. Something huge was happening, something whose scope and magnitude I could not fully comprehend? Are my heart and mind well enough to even fully appreciate it? Will I be grateful to my Lord for having an experience that most of the modern Muslim world never will? Who, what, when, where and why? Each of these questions had a myriad of unknown dynamics that would only be answered in time? Will this time even come? Will Allah give me life to live through it? All of these inquiries only made me long for my Lord more and long for this experience more because it is only Allah who knows all and afterwards those who He has given knowledge to disseminate it to solve the mysteries contained in the hearts.

We had taken the physical means and this was just the beginning and a small beginning at that. Even starting to memorize the required texts was the tip of the iceberg. The real preparation was the freeing of our minds from worldly concerns and purifying our hearts from all desires except the desire of seeing Allah’s Face. We had to seek Allah’s aid from the beginning to the end Because without Allah there is no movement , no might and no Success. When left to our own devices we only attain stagnancy, incompetence and humiliating failure. We had to make tawbah and then remain aloof from sins. Seeking safety with Allah from the accursed, outcast and rejected shaytaan. We had to tame the wilderness of our souls in order to prepare them to be cultivated. The souls’ soil had to have the right mineral content in order for the seeds of beneficial knowledge that were going to be planted to sprout the fruits of acceptable actions. Were our hearts the needed fertile land ……. or were they rocks that would support no life? Even with this experience behind us, the answer to this question still lies ahead obscured in the distance. Was our preparation feasible? We will only know when the hearts are thrown open and their deepest secrets are outspread for scrutiny by the one who is Al Latif Al Khabir (Most Aware of the finest subtlties.) May Ar Rahmaan who twists the hearts of the slaves between His two fingers make our hearts firm upon His religion, Amin.

Part 3 Departure from Doom and Arriving in Allah’s Sanctuary

Now let’s get to the good part. My wife and I spent the weekend packing, making last minute runs, preparing wills and spending time with the family. When Tuesday came we got up early and headed out for the airport. Our flight didn’t leave until about 2:30 but we were at the airport at 11:00 waiting anxiously. People were looking at us with mixed emotions but we didn’t care because we were on our way to Saudi Arabia. When we arrived at JFK airport I thought we would have to take the airport tram to our terminal but Al Hamdulillah it was right around the corner. The first thing we saw when we approached the Saudi Air terminal were Muslims offering salah. We offered the salah and waited to be checked in. About 12 hours later we were in the air on our way to Jeddah.

When we touch down in Jeddah we load the bus and head for Madinah. We drive through out the night until we enter the Holy city , Madinatul Munawwarah in the morning. It was as if we left the darkness of America under the cover of darkness and now we were emerging in the illuminated sacred city with the dawning of the new day. I love Madinah, the sound of it, the smell of it, the sight of it, the feel of it. I feel warm inside as if I’m being welcomed by a long lost, generous relative. I observe everything keenly. The palm trees are calling me to recline under them. The store fronts donning Arabic names seem to smile at me. The cars and trucks bobbing and weaving about each other desire to entertain me. The people, both locals and foreigners all seem like my family members coming together for the family reunion. I am more at home here than I am at home. May Allah make this my home, Amin. I am in love with this place.

Immediately, we notice the large scale destruction and reconstruction efforts. Everywhere something is being torn down and everywhere some thing is being built up. To me this is symbolic of the process of tasfiyyah and tarbiyyah we are about to undergo. Expelling many of the ways about us that are no longer suitable for our use and replacing them with ways that will, Inshaa’Allah carry us into Jannah.

As we got deeper into the city a minaret from Masjid An Nabawai shyly peeks at us through the buildings, then another and then another. We return the shy glances with stares and call them to come out plainly in all of their splendor. As we pull up to our hotel, there they are welcoming us. Now they are not alone. They are accompanied by spectacular domes and artfully crafted arches, brilliant brass fixtures and a marvelous display of marble. What can be better than this? Only to bow and prostrate in the ranks inside as we will do many times before leaving.

Inside, there are outstretched pillars in rows upon rows, scattered carpets, and esquisite lamps adorning the equally esquisite domed ceilings. The air is cool and calm and it is increased by the cooling and calming effects of the Zam Zam water provided for our convenience. The Qur’aan is present in the pages of the thousands of musaahif around the magnificent musallah. It is present in the hearts, on the tongues and on the limbs of the many worshippers gathered for Allah’s pleasure from all over the four corners of the earth. To be in the midst of this is overwhelming. This is a sign to me of the vast mercy of Allah because I have not worked sufficiently to obtain this and I am not worthy to be here. There are thousands of people more deserving to be here in my place but Allah is most merciful of all those who have shown mercy to me. I should cry for a life time for this one moment. May Allah count me amongst the grateful. Amin.